3 confidence tools to own your power
If you have been following my work for any amount of time, you know that I am all about preaching the gospel of pleasure, self love and embodiment. As someone who teaches this work, I am JAZZED that this movement has gotten into the mainstream media a little bit more. Body positivity, having a healthy relationship to ones sexuality, self love and pleasure work has become more normalized in the last few years.
However, however, howeverrrrr ; here’s where it gets a wee bit dicey: the actual DOING and embodying of all this fabulous chatter. It’s such a win that we are finally talking about self love and confidence, but so often I see people stumble around how the hell to actually own and practice that in their daily lives. Again, let me be clear: I am so beyond happy that our society is slowly being exposed to this lifestyle, the issue is that I hate to see when it becomes just a concept and not a way of being & living. Have no fear, that’s why my fabulous ass is here.
My work as a coach is to make sure that you take all of that good stuff about self love that you know in your brain and have it owned, lived & alive in your body. Not to just understand self love conceptually but to show up as that person who you have always wanted to be. Everyday, I am amazed at my clients progression and celebrations. Watching them shift from getting self love in their brains to OWNING & truly loving themselves makes me honestly have one of my most rewarding jobs on the planet. It’s a privilege to watch people remember who they are and how powerful they are.
I would love to share a big ass client win that happened this last week with you, of course, my client gave me full permission to share her story. During our weekly session, my client was celebrating that because of our work, she finally feels like bad b and truly sees herself as HOT. This may sound trivial, but when we started working together, this amazing human didn’t see her own beauty. In sweltering heat, she would go out in long pants and sweaters. Her social anxiety was so sky high because of the way she looked. She stopped going out with friends and dating completely because she feared people were ripping apart her appearance. Not only was hating herself destroying her internal life, it was also ruining her relationship with others. Through working together, she realized how deeply her self hate effected her life, and little by little she patched up old friendships. She started to not only feel confident with old friends, but she made it a priority to share her truth and be transparent and visible. She truly went from deep hiding to being seen (and celebrated)!
Not only did she patch relationships up, but she’s ready to really put herself out there from a love perspective. She signed up for the apps and is considering doing covid safe speed dating events….WHAT?! This is the woman who was so plagued by self hate. Another huge win for her was she finally bought dresses, tank tops and SHORTS and genuinely feels gorgeous in them. Again, she was used to covering herself from head to toe, so these are some HUGE HUGE WINS!! Those type of celebrations is why I love to do this work. I get to hold epic humans to see how gorgeous and badass they have been all along. I get to put a mirror up to their beauty and it’s always such an honor when it deeply clicks for them.
I know these wins may sound great, but I wanted to give you some tangible tools you can take home and start implementing ASAP.
3 badass confidence tools:
1. Every time you pass a mirror or your reflection, I want you to give yourself 3 different compliments. These compliments can be about your physical beauty or you as a human.
2. I dare you to consciously and intentional notice where your thoughts are throughout the day. So often, our mind goes into protection mode and can be hella cruel to us by slowly ripping ourselves apart. I want you to notice what you say to yourself on the reg. Would you say some of those things to a child? I think not.
2a. I have an exercise that some of my clients take on: they wear a piece of jewelry such as a ring or an easily moveable bracelet. In the morning, they cast an intention on the jewelry: IE- to be kind to themselves. Throughout the day, if their mind starts to get fresh and lead with fear, I have them flip the jewelry to the other hand, back and forth the jewelry goes throughout the day. When you flip the jewelry, you tell yourself the opposite and give yourself an affirmation. IE- “Ugh, I am so stupid for waiting to get this task done, no wonder no-one likes me, I am a such a loser. :put jewelry on other hand and gently affirm the opposite: hey, I am a human doing my best, I am loveable- I am smart and I deserve to feel good in and out of work, I am doing the best that I can and I will try harder from a space of encouragement vs me being mean to myself.” GET THE JIST?!
3. Turn up the barometer. Throughout the day, I want you to continuously check in on the temp of your turn on and your pleasure. Consistently take a pulse of where you are and how you are feeling. Are you feeling crunchy or are you feeling pretty turned on and engaged with life? If you’re feeling turned on, rock on! If not, no shade- let’s just turn up the heat a little.
I dare you to really take ownership of your joy and radiance here; and as best as possible to get good at taking the stuck, crunchy energy and kicking it up a few notches. Maybe you are working on a tedious project and instead of making it a torturous activity, you put on some of your favorite tunes and make yourself a delicious pastry and a yummy cup of tea. Let me let you in on a little secret; you can even doing this magic at a place like the DMV… I know! Maybe you pack snacks, a book, or make great conversation with the people there. Being in your turn on and your pleasure is a DISCIPLINE but as you can see, the results and the quality of your life that shifts because of it is well well worth it!