Today, I recorded a podcast episode all about PROBLEMS. I don't know about you, but my anxiety LOVESSS to immediately hop to pain and suffering. It gets juiced up when I really spiral and hyper focus on what's going “wrong.” A instrumental piece of me healing and holding my anxiety with compassion was having a deep relationship to ease and pleasure. When pleasure and play is a monumental part of your foundational living, it’s hard for anxiety to take over. Here’s why: pleasure tells the brain and the body that we are safe to relax. When we are safe, it is harder for anxiety to creep in and wreck havoc. 

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OHHHHHHH!!! Healing through seductionnnnn, what a freaking title! And no, this isn’t We The Light clickbait; this theme is truly fundamental to what I teach. Prioritizing pleasure, healing, safety, expression, confidence, and living our desires. So often pleasure and play is looked at like fluff. It is something to maybe get at the end of a sacrifice. A reward or a treat at the end of extended pain. We make a vow that if we torture ourselves enough we will celebrate the victory. Here's the rub: you know that we rarely allow ourselves to enjoy and relish in the reward once the milestone happens. Our brain moves us quickly away from celebration and back into production mode of what other milestone, goal and achievement can we collect next. Taking us out of pleasure and into chronic pain and suffering. 

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How are you holding up? Collectively, I am hearing that so many of us are starting to really contract from the deep overwhelm that’s happening in the world. As you probably know there are a few ways to work with me: one to one coaching and group coaching being my top dogs. In my group coaching container, my clients recently expressed extreme overwhelm, burn out and deep fatigue. At the beginning of our group call, they were sharing fears that it didn’t feel feasible to focus on their growth, expansion, thriving and healing when they were so knocked off their center and stressed about the state of the world. 

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I was talking to a client today about her experience working 1:1 together, and she was like “I know you’ve mentioned this before working together, but you REALLY have helped me remember who I am. I have a restored sense of self and confidence. That corny example is real, the one where you talk about your work helping others, and this work makes me feel like I am the diamond and I have been dusted off, I can show up now as my sparkly self. I seriously feel alive, radiant and have a relationship to pleasure.”

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I was at Disney this weekend; I know, I know, don’t judge. I’m only like half a Disney adult😜 but something my husband and I were talking about the whole time was Disney culture.

For so many, it’s beyond just the mouse; it’s the whole experience. The community, the magic, the playfulness, the permission to be weird and authentically you, the joy, the excitement, the possibilities, a place where it’s celebrated and safe to be in your joy, etc etc.

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Something that I work on with my clients is their relationship to pleasure, yes RELATIONSHIP. I remember when I started my journey with pleasure, I thought it would be a one stop shop, I did the classes, the work, BOOM- I am done, right? Umm well, luckily the journey was just at the beginning. Even though it is tempting to just check pleasure off your to do list, and say bibbidi- bobbidi- BOO, it’s a relationship, and a relationship worth cultivating.

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If you have been following my work for any amount of time, you know that I am all about preaching the gospel of pleasure, self love and embodiment. As someone who teaches this work, I am JAZZED that this movement has gotten into the mainstream media a little bit more. Body positivity, having a healthy relationship to ones sexuality, self love and pleasure work has become more normalized in the last few years.

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I think we can both agree that the world feels extra heavy right now. There is so much happening that feels out of our control. Before we really dive in, I would love for us to collectively (because lord knows I need it too) take a moment and inhale a juicy breath: maybe this is your biggest of the day. As you read this love note, how can you self soothe and regulate your nervous system? Is it by putting a hand over your heart, stroking your arm, putting on a song to dance/sing to or is it calling a friend to process?

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I know last week I popped in talking about new beginnings and the underbelly that comes up with those. An opportunity for a fresh start can bring both excitement and also huge bouts of anxiety and pressure. The panic of being perfect and “getting it right” can sometimes be present. So with a new year, a full moon and almost 2 years of a global pandemic; stress can surely ensue. So many of us are feeling contracted in our bodies and minds. Some are feeling exhausted, hopeless and defeated.

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How are you feeling as we enter this new year? I know for me, new beginnings can both be a time of great excitement and underlying anxiety. I recently made a podcast episode on shifting our relationship to new beginnings and instead of focusing on harsh resolutions coming from a place of shame and fear; we reframe and lean on intentions, desires and rituals. It’s funny, we put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves to change our entire life from Dec. 31st to Jan. 1.

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I wanted to drop in and share something super personal and vulnerable: after years of avoiding it: I finally released my podcast, AHH!! It sounds like clickbait. “Erica… that's your super personal and vulnerable share?!” It is. Here’s why: for years, out of fear I skirted around really owning and showing up for the desire. I have been a guest on, no joke at least 100 other podcast shows.

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How are you, boo? How are you taking care of yourself during these crazy times? Because there is so much happening in the world, I thought it would be a good time to reconnect and deeply share my work. Now more than ever, we need tools and community to heal, rise and step into our power.

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At times, this year has been a LOT, and felt pretty damn rude. I don’t know about you but I feel like I have been tested and forced to shift in areas I never expected. As the days have been coming closer to the election, it feels like there is an energetic pimple thats ready to POP. LOL sorry I am disgusting, but that example just works.

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A huge opportunity came along this week, where I totally BOMBED. I was pretty jazzed as I kept getting callbacks to be part of this baller docuseries that will be on a major streaming platform ;) ( tehe can’t disclose certain deets just yet ) I was super excited for this particular sets of auditions, because this show is in my wheelhouse. It’s a documentary about dating, sexuality and pleasure. Hello?!

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It’s a mixed bag, but usually when someone signs up to work 1:1 they go through an emotional rollercoaster. They start by being so jazzed that their life will completely transform AND a piece of them is terrified and wants to run for the door. Being held, witnessed and loved in a container feels amazing and it is also extremely vulnerable, you are seen and faced with a daily mirror.

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I remember when my client Laurie (not her real name because; duh, privacy people!) first came to me, she thought she was going to work exclusively on her marriage. With Laurie, we started the first few months working through her relationship. But like an onion; the more we peeled, the more a core wound was looking straight at us, and this time it was: MONEY.

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I wanted to do a quick drop in today to remind you of your power. No biggie, right? I am sure you know the deal: life gets busy (especially these days with things reopening) and the day, week and month takes us. We easily become on autopilot and it feels like we have become victims to our own life and schedules. OH no nooooo, I say.

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It takes massive discipline to remind ourselves that pleasure is not bad and you won’t go to hell for taking good care of yourself. Pleasure is nourishment, it is good for you, your body, brain, nervous system and spirit. You are worthy of that goodness. You can have a $€x life, relationship, body love and a life that you truly desire... I pinky promise.

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